Hey, 16-year-old Nohemy,
First of all, happy 16th birthday! Currently writing to you on our 26th birthday. It's been a long 10 years—very rocky and very long—but surprise, bitch, you're still here.
I, uh, wanted to write to you specifically because you don't know it yet, but 16 was easily the toughest year of your life, and it's gonna be pretty tough for the next 10 years. Sorry, kid; try to be as kind as you can to yourself. I know it's gonna be tough, but it'll be your saving grace.
Lemme give you a quick recap of the next 10 years of your life. You don't know it yet, but in a few months, you're gonna be filing for a restraining order against your current homeboy. He's awful, and you know—stop being scared, girl. Raeanne is gonna save you. You're gonna date another guy right after him. He's super sweet at first, but he's gonna suck a lot in the end. That's gonna be the overall theme of your love life, FYI—sorry, babe. So yeah, we're 26, so I'll answer some questions for you.
Yes, you're single right now. Currently dealing with a heartbreak as I write this. You're in therapy, and, to be honest, it's been working. You're learning how to be soft, gentle, and vulnerable. I know it sounds terrifying. Being raised to know that the world is cold, tough, dangerous, and scary makes you want to be as guarded as possible. I also know that what you're gonna deal with for the next 10 years is gonna make it hard for you to want to open up to the beauties of life, but once you learn where to start, you'll see it's worth it. We still aren't criers—unless it's too much, and so far only with maybe two people. So it's still a work in progress. We have two chihuahuas, and they're so cute and adorable. You still listen to La Dispute, The Front Bottoms, Front Porch Step, Brand New, Defeater, and all of those bands. You're just more open about it now. We have managed to see PATD, MCR, FOB, Weezer, Green Day, Pierce the Veil, and BVB in concert. In September of 2023, you'll be seeing RBD. You're not a med student; you're currently dual majoring in Theatre Tech and Spanish Culture/Literature Studies. It's pretty great; you get to work with kids at theatre camps, and you have a lot of plans going on that'll work in favor of your career.
You're going to be a nanny for 8 years, and it'll be the most rewarding job to this day. It'll be two awesome families and 9 wonderful kids. They're gonna teach you so much about yourself and will honestly change your outlook on life. They're pretty cool kids. They're also gonna save you. Unknowingly, easily, quietly—they'll save you.
I don't know what more there is to say. I know it's tough right now, and it'll be tough for a while. Keep journaling. It'll keep you sane, so much so that we are currently on journal number 54. I promise you will slowly stop spending so much time in your dark closet by yourself. You'll learn not to be afraid of the people that surround you. The scars are there, but the seams are stitched tight, and you'll be okay (shout out to La Dispute so you can understand what I'm trying to tell you).
Be kind to yourself, homegirl. You deserve it. You're worthy of it. It doesn't feel like it, I know, but you are. I wish I could find a way to make you see that you deserve all the good things that life has to offer. That way, you are willing to put yourself out there and not shut down. You'll only hold yourself back that way, and it's gonna suck in the long run. But, here I am. Here we are. You're doing okay. Again, currently heartbroken, but you're okay. You'll be okay. We'll be okay. So much so that we know what our future home looks like. We have a list of kid names. We know what kind of dog we want. We have a plan for our future. I know that'll tell you that everything will be okay because currently, you can't even plan out the day ahead of you. It sucks being 16, and I'm so sorry that it has to be that way and that I wasn't able to protect you in the moment. But one day, you'll look back with kinder eyes, and you'll see all the good things you can't see in the moment.
I love you, and I believe in you. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here writing this today.
It's gonna be a good life.
It's going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride for the next 10 years—just hang in there. It'll be so worth it in the end. I promise.
Once again, happy 16th birthday.
Much love,
26-year-old you.
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