The usual one hour drive to Guadalajara seemed to last longer than usual. It probably had to do with the fact that no matter how hard I tried to distract myself, I kept going back to the final image I had of my mother as I left. Distressed, in tears, in the middle of the road, and defeatedly giving me her final blessing. Javier occasionally tried to make some sort of conversation to sway my attention else where, but that only worked for a few minutes at a time. When we finally got to the city we stopped to pack some more water bottles and meet Javier's cousin so he could take the truck back once we left to Tijuana. The time was now 1:30pm and we made our way to the bus station where we were going to meet el coyote that was going to cross us over.
The drive to Tijuana was about a day or so. I had a lot of time to think about, well, everything. I thought about my childhood. I once got a plastic blue ball for Christmas when I was about 8 or 9. My brother took it to play with it while I was eating and popped it. So that pleasure only lasted a day at the most. I thought about how I only made it to the 6th grade because school just wasn't a priority to my parents. I grew up working practically. I can't count the amount of times I got pulled out of class so my older brother and I could go work the fields with my dad. Whenever I could get some free time in the evenings, I would go tot he park behind my house and play baseball with the town team. By park, I meant the empty dirt lot that had a tire swing hanging from the tree. And by town baseball team, I mean the random group of kids and adults that would gather together to play catch. It was one of the only ways I was able to bond with my dad besides work. He taught me everything I knew, and I got good. Like really good at baseball. It was all I did on my free time and whenever I was upset, it was the thing that made me happy. I thought about my mom and my sisters. I have three sisters, two younger, one older. I know I complained a lot whenever they were around, but I really missed them right now. I really hope Vero wasn't too upset that I didn't take her shopping. I left some money for her on her bed to make up for it. Sandra and Maria didn't say anything at all now that I'm thinking about it. Maria probably didn't understand what was going on and Sandra is most likely livid right now. My poor mom, I hope she knows that this was a tough choice. Seeing her crying in the middle of the street tore my heart apart. Literally. I felt my chest tighten and split open the moment I saw her sending her blessing in defeat as we drove away. "I'm doing this for you. I promise." I think to myself, hoping that it somehow makes its way to my mom and gives her some peace of mind.
Before I know it we arrive at the bus station in Tijuana. We make our way through the town and get to the taco shop where we were told to meet the coyote at. We decide to get some food while we wait. It’s 10:30pm and the guy said he’d meet us around 11:30, so we had an hour to spare. I don’t know what it was, maybe the nerves, the anxiety, or the fact that I only had breakfast this morning; but these tacos were the best I’ve had in a long time.
“I hope you guys are enjoying your dinner, we have a long road ahead of us tonight.” A deep and friendly voice tells us. I turn around and I see a short man. He has a medium build going on and he’s light skin like me. He greets us with a friendly smile. “Hi! Sorry to have snuck up on you. I guess I’m just that good at what I do now.” He says and laughs.
“Hi, I’m Pedro.” I saw as soon as I gulp down the last bite of my meal.
“Nice to meet you man! My name is Alejandro, Javier told me about you. It’s nice to meet you!” He replies and sits down next to us. He orders a plate and gets us another round of drinks and starts to tell us the plans for the crossing. "So we're going to head up north for about 30 minutes. We'll reach the edge of the town and after that we start walking into the desert." He says and my hands start getting sweaty at the thought of walking in the vast desert in pitch darkness. "We'll walk about 3 hours and then we'll reach the waiting point for our transportation contact" he continues and sips his coca cola. We pay and make our way to his truck and drive towards the desert. I can feel the intensity of my heart beat with every passing minute and to calm myself down I stare out the window. I look up at the clear dark blue sky. The stars are so bright and the moon is so full and white. I close my eyes and feel the cool breeze on my face, "breathe in, breathe out" I think to myself. I need to get a grip on myself, I have to do this. I have to take care of my family.
Before I know it, we're getting off the truck at the edge of the town. In front of me is a vast dark nothingness. Nothing but dirt and clear sky filled my gaze. I snap out of my haze and see that 8 more people have joined us, so a total of 10 people were crossing over tonight. Alejandro is going over the same procedure, that he told us earlier, with the rest of the group and I can't help but think about my mom and at the same time wonder if I'm making the right choice. I don't know what it is, but I can't shake the feeling that this isn't going to go the way I'm hoping it will.
"Okay guys, time to go. Get your stuff and follow me." Alejandro says and snaps me back to reality. Javier and I grab our backpacks and follow Alejandro, and the rest of the group into the pitch black desert. After for what seems to be forever, Alejandro stops and pulls out his phone. "Okay guys, this is as far as I go. I'll wait here with you guys for the transportation but after that they'll be the ones that guide you to the other side." He says with a smile on his face, "So just rest up, drink some water if you brought any, eat if you brought any snacks, and when the truck gets here we'll go over the transportation process." I check my watch out of curiosity and see that it's been exactly 3 hours since we started walking. He has this gig down to the exact travel time.
Javier and I sit down against a rock and take out some water, I had some snacks and chips that I brought along incase I got hungry or started anxiously eating like I always do. However there were some kids next to me complaining about being hungry, and their mom said something about not having snacks because she only brought clothes and blankets for them. Needless to say I watched 3 kids fight over my two bags of chips and a packet of donuts that I got from the Oxxo gas station next to the taco stand we ate at. Oddly enough, this scenario seemed normal and calm to me.
Seeing the group of people huddled with each other, talking about where they're from and why they're crossing, it all felt too familiar and too normal. I don't know what it was, or why is was that way. Maybe because I knew far too many people that had the same end goal. Cross over, get a good job, make good money, have a good life; but it's never good enough. The lady with the 3 kids was from Zacatecas and she's going towards Oregon. Said her husband stop calling and sending money about a month ago and ran out of money and food for her kids. So she used her savings to buy her way into the states to find her husband and get her family back. There was this one couple from Aguascalientes that were heading up to live with their daughter because she got diagnosed with cancer and couldn't come back to Mexico because she would have to cross over again this way. And well, with her current health, it just wasn't an option. So they're going to take care of her. Alejandro breaks our conversation with panic in his voice.
"Everybody get down on the floor. Boarder control is on our side!" The panic spreads throughout the group and amidst the silence I can hear the trembling breaths amongst everyone as the tires get closer to us. I can't help but look at over at the kids and their mother, and the older couple in front of us.
"Javi!" I whisper to my friend on my right.
"What?" he mumbles.
"What happens if we get caught by border control?" He looks over at me.
"Well, we aren't on the other side yet so they'll most likely just detain us , process us, and let us go down at the sheriffs office. Why?"
I hesitate, "What about with the Alejandro? What happens if we get caught?" He stares at me in the darkness, he can tell I'm up to something.
"Well, depending on how many people get caught, and if he gets caught too, then I think he can try to cross us over as soon as we get released without an extra fee. Why?" I stare at him, and take a deep breath.
"There's only one car man. So there can't be more than two agents. What if I start running so They can chase me while you guys go to a safer location? Some of these people have bigger things on the line and really need to get across man." Javier looks at me as if I just killed someone.
"Are you fucking stupid? Why would you put yourself on the line like that? What's wrong with you!?" Javier snaps back at me.
"Alejandro!" I whisper semi loudly ignoring Javier's comments. He looks at me and nods his head signaling that he's listening to me.
"I'm gonna make a run for it. When the guards or the trucks runs towards me take everyone else to a safer location. Make sure they get to where they need to go please." I signal to the kids and the older couple and they look at me with tears in their eyes. Alejandro stares at me for a second, smiles softly and nods at me giving me the clear. I can hear Javier cursing me under his breath as I look towards the truck that's slowly making its way towards us. As I get up in a squat position to start running I hear Javier shuffling behind me then I hear him talk to me.
"Let me know when so we can run in opposite directions to throw them off and buy everyone else some more time." I look back at him and smile, he continues "You're crazy man. But I guess you are your fathers' kid. Always looking out for others." I laugh and take a deep breath.
"Okay, now let's go!" I saw and we take off running. I feel Javier running with me until we see the lights fixated on us and hear the truck pick up speed. "Go Left! I'll keep going right!" I yell at him.
"Okay! Whatever you do, don't fight them off when they catch up man. Just go easy and I'll see you down at the station!" He yells back at me as he heads off in the opposite direction. The high beams go on as the truck stops and I hear the doors fly open. Two officers just like I thought. One runs towards Javier and the other one runs towards me. "You're on the baseball field," I tell myself. "Run to home base. Just keep running. Don't stop." I repeat to myself as I run through the sand and rocks. I was going good until I tripped over a rock and fell flat on the ground and almost immediately the guard was on my back cuffing my arms behind me. I remember Javier and I do as I'm told and don't put up a fight.
The guard walks me back to the truck and in choppy Spanish tells me that I'm lucky to still be on Mexican territory and to just comply and answer everything back at the station. I managed to run a good distance because I can feel the cop struggling to catch his breath behind me, and it takes us about 10 minutes to walk back to the truck where Javier is already at, also in handcuffs. We rode in silence back to the station, got processed, gave our fake names, and got let go back in Tijuana in a matter of maybe 4 hours. We went back to the taco stand and ate while Javier got on the phone to call someone, 30 minutes later, in the middle of our meal Alejandro showed up. "That was some shit you pulled off back there." He said to me in a stern voice. I looked up at him and swallowed my food.
"Did everybody make it across?" I asked quietly.
"You're crazy you know?" Alejandro chuckles and drinks his coke. "Yeah, they all made it across thanks to your stunt." He starts eating and keeps chuckling to himself. "Well boys, eat up. We're going to try to cross again as soon as the sun goes down okay? The least I could do is get you over." He looks at us and we smile back at him.
We walked around the town and rested for the entirety of the day while we waited for the sun to go down. When it finally started to get dark we decided to start heading out the desert again and start our journey again. "We're going to take the same route because they most likely won't be patrolling that area tonight." Alejandro tells us, "Since they "Caught" you guys there last night they're going to assume we are going another direction and avoiding that area so it should be safe to head on over that way again tonight. You guys ready?" We nod and start heading the same way we went the night before. We walk the same 3 hours, and when we get to the waiting spot a truck is there waiting for us. I immediately go into panic mode but Alejandro reassures us that its our transportation and we're in good hands.
We get into a hidden and expanded compartment inside the white Tahoe and feel the truck start driving over the bumpy terrain for what seems to be hours. After a long time, and having our legs goes numb we finally get onto some smooth roads and drive for another period of time. I manage to doze off and wake up to the sound of cars, music, and Javier telling me to wake up. We made it. The seat backs open up and the sun hits me in the face as I stretch my arms and legs and get out of the car. "Son! You're finally here! Cabron! Alejandro told me what you did!" I turn around and it's my godfather walking towards me and relief rushes over my exhausted body. "You were so reckless, but I'm so proud of you." He says as he hugs me and pats Javier on the shoulder. "You boys ready to go to the house and rest?" We nod and bid our goodbyes to the guy that crossed us over. I never got his name, but he was a nice guy.
We get into my uncles red Expedition and we drive off into this huge city that's waiting for us. I look out the window and see endless buildings, houses, cars, and billboards telling the people of the opportunities that await them. The air feels different here. It feels lighter and easier. Every turn we make there's people chattering and music blaring. It's so full of life on this side of the wall. We merge off the high way onto and I see almost every different type of car, person, clothing brand, and even food cart. I can sense the endless opportunities every where I turn. I miss my family, but this is for the better and I can feel the immediate change in luck heading my way. We park in front of a condominium and I internally prep myself for the year that awaits me. I'm so ready for my life and the life of my family to change for the better, little did I know that that wasn't going to be the case in the months to come.
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