Dark garden

 I started a garden in my backyard. 

I wanted it to be filled with flowers of different colors, sizes, and aromas. 

I wanted to be surrounded with so much life that the dead feeling inside of me would vanish and never be felt again. My logic was, if I could surround myself with an enormous amount of color, then my mind would no longer be so dark. 

I wanted to feel the beauty surround me. I was so tired of feeling nothing and just seeing in tones of grey, that I decided to flood my backyard with color and life. 

But as soon as the endless variety of flowers were buried in the ground, death crept on them. Slowly, but surely, their will to live and make the world a beautiful place, was gone just like mine once was. 

I soon figured that my fate was sealed just like that rose in my backyard. That one flower that was once a vibrant red stamp of love and beauty, now lay wilted on the dirt bed that surrounded my home. 

It dawned on me that it was a lost cause. I could try and adorn my back yard with mountains of flowers. I could even try to plant ever flower known to man yet they would all eventually wilt away. That seemed to be my case too. 

I could try so hard to evaporate the darkness that surrounded my thoughts, but it would only be a matter of time before it all came back. Because, just like the useless soil that sealed the fate of the know black and dry rose that lay on the floor of my yard, I was a lost cause. 

I was always told I was a late bloomer. So I waited so patiently every passing day of my life.

Come to find out, I was never meant to bloom.